Gun Violence, a Rabbit Hole, some Rambling

There was a terrible incident of gun violence in my town last night.  The shooting happened one block north and a handful of blocks east of where our family used to live.

Another local friend commented about the event on their social media pointing out that this sort of thing can now happen literally anywhere in the United States and it prompted me to recall how gun violence has impacted my life.

No, I've never been shot. Though I can name four people just off the top of my head who I knew and who died due to gun violence.

I shared the story of how I, thankfully, just missed out on arriving on-scene where a shooting took place.  I was scheduled to be there, but I didn't go.  Good thing, too, as I would have likely shown up just prior or during a mass shooting.

I shared another story, too.  The one that made one cousin a widow and another a pariah.  I decided to do some online digging as that particular case made local headlines in the small town where that part of my family lived.  It's been fifteen years since that happened, and the woman who killed my cousin's husband is free.

Far be it from me to assess whether she should be or not.  She got her days in court and her defense convinced a jury that it was manslaughter and not murder.  But in my digging online, I'm fairly certain that I found her Facebook profile and that, in itself, just sits oddly with me.



Honestly, I don't where else to go with this.  I did think about commenting on the clearly political content that this woman had on her profile.  Pointing out the unsurprising nature of her political stance, for instance.  But I guess I also don't really think it is worth my time.  I started typing this all out because I wanted to note that, yet again, gun violence has impacted a community close to me.  Is it frustrating to also learn that the woman who took the life of a man I knew for years is also a big supporter of the very people who are bought and paid for by the NRA?  Yes.  But will it change anything if I smear her on this teensy blog of mine?  No.

So, as I sit here right now, I think about the friends and family that I've lost.  I think about James and note that the baby he never met would be about 25 years old now.  I think about Courtney and about how her family could have lived without the trauma and sadness of watching their mother die.  I think about Jon and his infectious smile and how proud he would be of the grandbabies he never knew.  But I shouldn't bother.  They're gone, lives cut short because of the presence of a gun.

"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."

Eleanor Roosevelt

[what's cookin'] Risotto Milanese or Food and Gaming

I currently am running a group of players through the Call of Cthulhu campaign, Horror on the Orient Express.  It's part of our usual Monday Night gaming group, so we only get together about once a month to play my game.  As such, I do sometimes look for ways to make the night memorable outside of just what happens in the game, itself.

One such way is to look at ways to incorporate snacks and drinks into the setting.  Since the Investigators are traveling across 1920s Europe, I've done things like bring tea and sandwiches, themed cocktails, and the like.

The party just entered Milan during the last session and while I had hoped to have had some sort of Milanese snack or similar to offer, I found myself too busy to put something together.  But the idea had not left my head even after the game session.

While digging around for typical Milanese delights, I found this recipe for risotto.  As I actually had all of the ingredients, or their vegan-friendly substitutions, on hand, I decided that I wanted to give it a try.  And oh! am I glad that I did.  It's delicious!

Vegan Risotto Milanese

Ingredients:

Olive or any mostly neutral-tasting oil

1 large onion, cut into 1/4-inch dice

salt

2 cups short-grain rice

2 large pinches saffron (I like the Trader Joe's brand)

4 cups of Better Than Bouillon No-Chicken broth

1/2 to 1 cup dry vermouth or a dry white wine

2 tablespoons Earth Balance

1/2 to 3/4 cup grated Violife Parm

Instructions:

In an Instant Pot, press the SAUTE button and allow it to come to heat.  Add a good drizzle of olive oil and once shimmering, add the diced onion to the pot.  Sweat the onions thoroughly, add a pinch or two of salt if needed.  

While the onions sweat, add the saffron to the broth and allow it to steep a bit.

Add the rice and stir to coat with the oil, adding more oil if needed.  Allow some of the rice to brown a bit, so do not go too vigorous on the stirring.  After about four minutes, deglaze the pan with the vermouth or white wine.  I do not usually measure out the wine exactly.  Rather, I pour enough into the pan to deglaze the browned bit from the bottom of the pot.

Next, add the broth and the saffron to the pot.  Close the lid and set the iPot to MANUAL for five minutes.  Be sure that the release valve is locked!

After the five minutes are up, turn off the Instant Pot and open the steam release.  You can do this in bursts if you prefer.  Once the steam is released and the pot is no longer locked, carefully open the pot.  Add the Earth Balance and Violife to the hot risotto and give it all a good stir.  Add salt to taste.

Optional: I do love to add a little green to my risotto dishes and while that would not be exactly traditional, the fact that this is already a veganized version means that we've pretty much thrown tradition right out on its ass.  So, throw in a half cup or so of frozen peas right after opening, if you want.  Fresh parsley could also be a tasty addition.

A ridiculously personal ramble

I did something tonight that I haven't done in a long time: I cried in my car. A few big sobs, some careful dabbing of wet eyes with a paper napkin, and some sniffles that stayed with me until I drove back home. 

---

Last night, really early this morning, my son woke up vomiting. Poor guy, he kept complaining of a hurt tummy, and had a few more bouts of vomiting before daybreak. I didn't get much sleep after that and spent most of the day cuddling and soothing the sick little boy. 

As soon as my husband returned home, I jumped into the car to make my Weight Watchers meeting. It was there that the incident happened that lead me to rush to my car to find a safe place and to cry. 

No, it wasn't a matter of bad news on the scale. Rather, it was after I spoke up in the meeting that I noticed a regular attendee talking to another woman about me. While I could not catch everything that was said, what I did discern wasn't exactly positive. When I made eye-contact with the listener, she quickly averted her eyes from mine and began to blush. So I'm left doubting that they were speaking complimentary about me.

I felt immediate embarrassment, followed quickly by emotional pain. I was a target, and I didn't like being singled out for snide commentary. 

With the pain welling up inside me, the only thing I could think to do was to try and make eye-contact again, but this time to let them know that their gossip hurt. Not that made it any obvious difference. 

The moment the meeting ended, I shot up and made for the door. Before I could even get to my car, a few tears had already fallen. Could my sleep deprivation have contributed?  Could I have just been a touch too sensitive?

Here's the thing: I am embarrassed that I rushed to my car to cry. I'm a grown damn woman. But I also realized that after years of being a target, and after thinking that part of my life was done--I can safely say I'm still sick of it. Lack of sleep or no, being singled out for even minor ridicule sucks. 

It left me wondering, could it be that I've been using my weight to hide?  Have I been so desperate to be ignored, for fear of such awful criticism, that I've kept myself fat?  Let's face it, it's easier to be ignored when no one really wants to look at you...

A fews hours have passed now and I'm able to reflect on the incident with a lot less sting. I'm still embarrassed. Boy, howdy!  But I'm also wondering if it is even worth mentioning, if I should even share these thoughts.  Or if I should just suck it up, try and grow a thicker skin, and move on. I really couldn't care any less what those women think. It's never crossed my mind before. It's the being targeted aspect that gets so deeply under my skin. 

And now I'm repeating myself, so it's probably best that I close. 

[peaceful parenting] Adventures in Potty Training

I asked Declan if his diaper was okay. He shook his head. 

I asked him if I could remove it. He launched himself into this position and mumbled, "I don't want to take off my diaper."

[peaceful parenting] Bomem

I have long been fascinated by language. Now that Declan is becoming quite the chatterbox, I am often tickled by his mispronunciations and his currently understanding of words. 

I know that I have already forgotten some of his "cute-isms" so I am jotting down what can come to mind now for future enjoyment:

--Bomem: n. Bottom

--Emek: v. To open (no longer in current use)

--Perperp: n. Toilet paper

--P Balls: n. Paintballs

[in stitches] Hand sewing, finishing touches

[jet set] Packing for the United Kingdom, a few thoughts

Our family will be enjoying a rare (for us) treat this summer: an actual get-out-of-town vacation!  Tickets have been purchased, hotels and B&Bs booked, car rental reserved…  There is no backing out now!  As we are traveling with a three year-old, we will not be sticking to a strict schedule.  We have a list of sights we’d like to see, but are going to play it by ear when we arrive.

With most of our flexible agenda decided, my thoughts turn to other preparations—specifically packing!

Four people, fourteen days, four different overnight locations.  We’d like to travel as light as we can.  Ideally, each person should have no more than one bag.  Preferably, that bag should be carry-on sized.  I have yet to inventory our luggage, though, so we may have to settle on whatever sized bag we have at our disposal.

Most of our stay will be in Bed & Breakfast establishments, so in room laundry is limited to washing a few items in our ensuite sink.  I certainly do not want to spend any of my time off at a British laundromat, so it’ll be necessary to pack a variety of clothing.  Thankfully, most of our trip will be spent enjoying museums, so no need for specialized garments (beach clothing, ski attire, et cetera).

The last out-of-country trip that I took, I decided to try the valet packing technique/bundle wrapping.  I used tissue paper and folded the clothing into the requisite bundles.  It worked beautifully in keeping my clothing mostly wrinkle-free.  But this time around, I want to give the rolling method a go so as to not feel pressured to completely unpack at every destination.  (Did I mention that there are four?)

Since I’ll be folding and rolling my clothes, wrinkle-free fabrics seem the best bet.  Fortunately, there are a lot of beautiful, classic knit and jersey items that are also mostly wrinkle-free.  I decided against wearing vintage for this trip because we may have to check a bag and lo! would I be upset if I lost any of my favorite pieces.  Anyway—on to the list!

I find that for a trip like ours, two pairs of shoes are needed.  No more than three should be taken.  I’d like a pair of shoes well suited to hours of walking.  This pair should also be able to handle cobblestones and rougher terrain without compromising my comfort.  I used to own such a pair—purchased specifically for our trip to Ireland back in 2010, but since we moved into our haus I haven’t seen them.  If we cannot find that pair, I may be stuck with bringing my well-loved Birkis.

The second pair will be my Dansko sandals.  I’ve been able to wear these beauties all day at Disneyland with 100% comfort.  I know that they’ll be great for long walks, but probably not too grand on cobblestone.  However, they dress up nicely and we do have one night at the theatre already planned for my daughter and I.

IF I bring a third pair, I’m thinking of packing my running shoes.  In the off chance that I am able to go for a jog, I’d like to be prepared.  Sure, I could also use them for some touristy errands, but we’re going to the UK.  To many Brits, the sneakers with everyday clothes is an immediate call-out for the touristy American—a designation I’d like to avoid when simply glanced.

Now that shoes are settled, it’s time to think on the clothes.  I like to break it down thusly—first choose a handful of classic neutrals that layer and pair well.  A classic tee, black trouser, neutral tank, cardigan… 

Next, select some separates to add color and interest.  Again, I go for classics over trends, since I tend to dress more retro-inspired when I’m not wearing actual vintage.  Finally, choose a handful of accessories to finish the look.  Scarves will be my go-to here.

Outer wear is easy in my case as I still have the raincoat I purchased in Ireland.  It’s a beautiful gray, looks great, fits beautifully.  I did also recently score a red London Fog ladies coat that I will likely lend to my daughter.  Either option works great and will be worn on the plane so as to be immediately available upon landing, should we need it, so it will not take up valuable space in the suitcase.

Here is what I have on-hand, besides the items listed above, that I’m considering:

• White with red polka dots blouse
• Gray, plain cardigan
• Gray, denim, sailor-style pants
• 2 black, convertible dresses.  One is from a company that no longer exists, sadly.  The other is from Hayley Starr.  Both also double as skirts.
• Black, lacey, long sleeve top
• Two camisoles: one white, one black
• A variety of scarves
• Classic sliver Tiffany necklace
• Classic silver Tiffany charm bracelet.

Here is what I’d like to round out my list:

• A colorful dress—ideally, a wrap dress or other classic silhouette
• One more pair of pants—ideally in a neutral color, perhaps capri-length
• A classic long sleeve white tee
• One or two more shirts—ideally a boat neck with stripes, or a colorful classic blouse

So far, I think I’m on the right track.  If done right, I’ll have multiple outfit combinations to wear that will easily fit into a carry-on sized suitcase.

Do you strategize your packing?

[peaceful parenting] A Critical Look at Five Reasons

I tend to avoid HuffPo most days as it really is just another fluff site thinly disguising itself as news.  But several FB friends were sharing a particular article on parenting fails, so I clicked.  And I soon regretted it.  

The article is titled 5 Reasons Modern-Day Parenting Is in Crisis, According to a British Nanny.  It might as well have been titled 5 Reasons to Be a D*ck to Children, According to a Judgmental Child-minder.  I’ll explain.

The author’s first reason today’s parents are lousy: some of us actually value our children’s preferences.  She writes:

“I have what I think of as "the sippy cup test," wherein I will observe a parent getting her toddler a cup of milk in the morning. If the child says, "I want the pink sippy cup, not the blue!" yet the mum has already poured the milk into the blue sippy cup, I watch carefully to see how the parent reacts. More often than not, the mum's face whitens and she rushes to get the preferred sippy cup before the child has a tantrum. Fail! What are you afraid of, mum? Who is in charge here? Let her have a tantrum, and remove yourself so you don't have to hear it. But for goodness' sake, don't make extra work for yourself just to please her -- and even more importantly, think about the lesson it teaches if you give her what she wants because she's thrown a fit.”  (emphasis mine)

She is trying to make the point that modern parents are afraid of upsetting their kids, she instead comes off sounding like an insensitive shrew.  I’m not afraid of extra work, nor is there any doubt who is the parent and who the child in my relationship with my son.  But here’s the deal, if I always opt to go the easy route to avoid extra work, I’m showing my son that his opinions, his preferences, are unimportant.  

In fact, we had a similar struggle this morning.  Temperatures are warming up in my town.  Our house lacks air conditioning, our television puts of a LOT of heat.  Declan woke and immediately wanted to play on the Xbox.  I didn’t want to deal with the extra heat.  Instead of just telling him to suck it up, and letting him tantrum, we talked.  I made sure that his preferences were acknowledged.  I explained my position, he his.  And we compromised.  We kept the TV off during the hottest part of the day, turned it on when it cooled off.  Sure, he got upset a few times.  But we’re establishing a supportive relationship—not one where I rule and he obeys, period.  

Ironically, after alluding that modern children are somehow incapability of compromise, the author has this to say in Reason #2:

“Children are capable of much more than parents typically expect from them, whether it's in the form of proper manners, respect for elders, chores, generosity or self-control. You don't think a child can sit through dinner at a restaurant? Rubbish. You don't think a child can clear the table without being asked? Rubbish again! The only reason they don't behave is because you haven't shown them how and you haven't expected it! It's that simple. Raise the bar and your child shall rise to the occasion.”

Wait… so my kid is somehow incapable of being reasoned with in Reason #1, but now they’re capable of it in Reason #2?  Now, I agree that kids are capable of quite a lot.  But I also recognize that my three year old has a less developed brain than I do.  (Quiet, Peanut Gallery!)  I do us both a disservice when I expect him to perform cognitively as well as I do.  

Additionally, there is the subtext to both of these Reasons that really bothers me: that the relationship between parent and child is a relationship where one party is in charge, and the other party is subservient.  Frankly, that is not the sort of relationship that I want from my kids.  I don’t want my children to blindly “obey” me, or anyone.  I want my children to listen, to think, to decide, and then act.  Not to just “do” without consideration beyond, “well, **authority figure** told me to do so.”  I recognize that I may be alone on this one, but I want our relationship to be one of mutual love and support.  Not blind adherence to a pecking order.

In Reason #3, the author actually makes some points that I agree with.  She claims that most folks are too afraid of backlash to assist in situations where a child has behaved in an inappropriate manner.  That today’s parents are so convinced that their kids are perfect that any stranger stepping in is unwelcome.  While it may be true that folks no longer swat at stranger’s kids, I would not go so far as to claim that the problem is mom and dad's deluded idea of the brilliance of their kids.  Rather, I think it's the fear of lawsuit for hitting a stranger's children.  Frankly, I'm glad of that.  Yes, I’ve been on the receiving end of glares from strangers, and I’ve also had folks kindly smile and give me a few reassuring words.  That’s a much better thing in my mind than the “good old days” when the neighbor felt it their duty to punish, and perhaps even spank my kids.

Do take this away from her Reason #3, though: “If a child is having a tantrum… observers should … be saying, "Hey, good work -- I know setting limits is hard.”  I agree.

Ready for Reason #4?  This one sounds good on the surface, were it not for the notion that again, children are not allowed to have a preference that is given value.  Here the author chides modern parents for using technology to soothe their kids.  Well, that advice is bang-on-trend with her established pattern of being a d*ck to kids.  Instead of acknowledging my child’s desire to entertain himself with a tablet, I’m again supposed to let him suck it up and get used to it.  She writes:

“Children must still learn patience. They must still learn to entertain themselves. They must still learn that not all food comes out steaming hot and ready in three minutes or less, and ideally they will also learn to help prepare it. Babies must learn to self-soothe instead of sitting in a vibrating chair each time they're fussy. Toddlers need to pick themselves up when they fall down instead of just raising their arms to mum and dad.“

Ugh.  She lost me at “self-soothe.”  Sounds way too much like the Cry It Out folks to my liking.  Need I point out some of the problems with Cry It Out?  Here’s a quote from an article from Psychology Today about it:

“With neuroscience, we can confirm what our ancestors took for granted---that letting babies get distressed is a practice that can damage children and their relational capacities in many ways for the long term. We know now that leaving babies to cry is a good way to make a less intelligent, less healthy but more anxious, uncooperative and alienated person who can pass the same or worse traits on to the next generation.”

Okay, back to criticizing Reason #3: Time for a confession.  When I’ve been in a situation where I’ve had to endure a wait, I’ve found some pretty neat shortcuts for myself.  I’ve pulled out a book to distract myself.  I’ve caught up on emails on my phone.  I’ve journaled.  But according to the author, allowing my kid to do the same thing is somehow a disservice?  It really doesn’t make sense to me.

We finish with Reason #5, a brilliant culmination of the underlying hostility to kids presented in most of the other reasons: Parents put their children's needs ahead of their own. 

Surprise!  Yes, yes, I do.  If I wasn’t prepared to put someone’s needs before mine, I wouldn’t have become a parent.  Parenting is hard.  It is.  Really.  Really hard, sometimes.  But it is also a choice—and I completely, wholeheartedly respect anyone who says, “no thanks,” to the idea of parenthood.  It isn’t selfish to chose not to have kids.  But it is pretty selfish to chose to be a parent, but then chose to put yourself always first. 

To her credit, the author begins this reason thusly: “Naturally, parents are wired to take care of their children first, and this is a good thing for evolution! I am an advocate of adhering to a schedule that suits your child's needs, and of practices like feeding and clothing your children first.”  But then she loses me when she continues with: “But parents today have taken it too far, completely subsuming their own needs and mental health for the sake of their children.”

Yes, I have actually fetched my son’s water bottle when he was perfectly capable of doing it himself.  But I’ve also done the same for my spouse, and he for me.  Sometimes we do things out of love and because we want to show our love than for convenience or ease.  

Now, the author here suggests some decent advice: 

“There is nothing wrong with not going to your child when she wants yet another glass of water at night. There's nothing wrong with that dad at the zoo saying, "Absolutely you can have something to drink, but you must wait until we pass the next drinking fountain." There is nothing wrong with using the word "No" on occasion, nothing wrong with asking your child to entertain herself for a few minutes because mummy would like to use the toilet in private or flick through a magazine for that matter.”

I agree.  But there is also nothing wrong when I get up from my comfortable seat to walk across the room to hand my son the water bottle that was slightly out of reach for my kid.  It helps to grow our supportive relationship, just as occasionally saying, “Yes, I’ll play as soon as I am finished,” helps to show that I value him, his preferences, but also my own.  It’s a subtle difference, but it’s there.

In short, the article isn’t terrible.  It isn’t.  Maybe I was overstating things in summarizing her article as 5 Ways to be a D*ck to Kids, but then you probably wouldn't have read this. ;)  The author's approach isn’t the way that I want to raise my kids, because I clearly value a supportive relationship over a domineering one.  There are moments in my parenting where my behavior will seemingly overlap the behavior of a parent who does value a “because I’m the mom, that’s why” relationship.  While the practice may look alike at times, the principles are different.  

How would I suggest that moms and dads improve their parenting?  Hmm, I don’t know that I could break it down into five bite-sized pieces of advice.  But some of what would say might look like this:

1. Decide what sort of relationship you want with your kids.  
2. Implement behaviors that support that relationship.
3. Value principles over arbitrary rules.
4. Be kind to one another.

Hey, look at that.  I guess I almost did break it down into five little nuggets!

[what's cookin'] Frozen Spiked Lemonade

When the mercury rises here in Southern California, I like to relax on our back patio with a frosty beverage. As the temps got up to a sweltering 88 degrees Fahrenheit (no giggles from you, Arizona and Texas), I blended up a batch of yummy to cool off tonight. Want to try your own frozen Tom Collins?  Here you go:

Frozen Tom Collins/Spiked Lemonade

1/4C water

6oz quality gin 

2oz Cointreau (friends don't let friends drink triple sec)

3 lemons--peeled, halved, seeded

1/4 cup sugar

6C ice

If using a high powered blender, throw all the ingredients in and blend for a minute or so. Otherwise, add everything but the ice and blend until liquified. Add ice (in batches, if necessary) and blend. 

Pour and enjoy!

[mini-trad mysteries] Pantry, Service Porch; Can YOU help?

When it came time to buy our house, I had—like most shoppers—a very keen idea of exactly what I wanted.  

• Three + bedrooms
• One + bathrooms
• Built before 1950
• Ideally! built between 1890 and 1940
• With as many original, historic details intact as possible

We found that house, too.  But it wasn’t meant to be.

Instead of my dream house, we found a home that I’ve fallen in love with despite its faults.  It has the curb appeal of a shipping container, but has some really cute little details throughout.  (Including original tile in the kitchen and the bath!)

We mopped AFTERWARDS, oops

But our strange little mini-trad also has some odd mysteries about it.  

In our kitchen is a pink and beige/off-white linoleum flooring that is not original to the house.  The house was built in 1948 and based on some snooping I did, I found evidence that the original flooring is still there under the new-ish linoleum.

In our service porch is a recessed space that we use (and the previous owners used) as a pantry.  In the floor of this pantry are two small holes up against the east wall.  Gutting from the north wall is a strip where there is no linoleum and no original flooring, but it doesn’t open up to the crawl space.  Obviously, something was there when both the original flooring and the “updated” linoleum was installed.  But what?  A washer?  A sink?  

Note the shelf supports

When looking into this recessed space, it quickly becomes clear that it was updated to be a pantry.  The shelving is unsophisticated.  Wooden boards supported by slats of wood nailed to the west and east walls.  I suspect that the “pantry” shelving was installed before the linoleum was installed, but I cannot be clear.  If it was, then whatever left its “footprint” in the floor would have likely co-existed with the shelves.  Therefore, said appliance would have to have been on the short side as the lowest shelf is only about a foot and half off the floor.  And that doesn’t make sense.

I have no clear indication when the linoleum was installed, and no clear idea when the “pantry” was converted.  But it all does leave me scratching my head, that’s for sure!

For a bit of extra mystery... Notice how in this last photo the linoleum was installed either after the water heater was replaced/added, or that the heater was lifted to install the flooring.  Weird.

[what's cookin'] A Picnic

Yesterday was the Homestead Museum's annual Ticket to the Twenties event.  It's a free two-day tribute to the Jazz Age complete with live music, dancing, films, games, and even fashion shows.  It's the perfect event in Southern California for a twenties-style picnic.

For this year's picnic, I thought I would try my hand at a couple of Jazz Age recipes thanks to VintageRecipes.net.  I wanted picnic foods that might have been served up at an outdoor luncheon in the 1920s, so decided on a couple of sandwiches and a potato salad.  But due to a few dietary limitations and allergies, I did decide to alter the recipes a bit.  So long as they kept to the style of the foods, I was okay.

The sandwiches came out well, I thought.  I chose a mock-chicken salad sandwich on white.  I looked up several chicken salad recipes on the site and used the information to guide my mock creation.  Honestly, it really was not that different from contemporary "chicken-salad."  Some "chicken" (in my case, I used chickpeas), some mustard, salt, pepper, vinegar, and--of course--mayonnaise.  Celery was often added, too.  Yep, pretty much what most folks call chicken-salad today.

The second sandwich that I chose was a cheese sandwich.  While not using camembert specifically, I used a similar soft, rind cheese that had a wonderful bite to it.  Quite tasty, albeit a touch messy to make.  I opted to thinly slice the cheese and place the slices on the sandwich, though I did consider cutting the cheese in half horizontally and then scooping and spreading the soft cheese sans rind onto the bread.

The potato salad recipe that I used as my inspiration include cayenne and Tabasco.  My husband is allergic to both, so I opted for black pepper and HP sauce instead.  (Sure, I could've chosen another recipe as there are plenty, but by the time I was getting around to making the salad, I had to chose one for which I had on-hand most of the ingredients and that would be nice at a picnic.)  The end result had a lovely tanginess and was quite tasty.  Yet by the next afternoon (I made the salad the day before the picnic), it was much more bland.  I here I thought the flavors would marry well.  Drat.

Otherwise the picnic was lovely.  We brought out some good china on which to dine.  We sat in the shade and sipped vintage sodas and lemonade.  My friend, Tricia, brought even more to eat: deviled eggs, sandwiches, fruit salad, and a heavenly apple pie and blueberry cake!  We were stuffed!

I certainly want to picnic again, but perhaps will wait a touch longer in the year as yesterday was just a bit too warm for my tastes.  Perhaps next time I will try a few other era recipes to share.

A new (electronic) addition to our haus

Roughly two weeks ago, a damn broke.  To combat the constant presence of dog hair on our floors, I used money I’d been saving to buy a floor-cleaning robot.  (I subscribe to the "Throw Money At It" school of problem solving whenever my limited budget allows.)

Brian would've preferred
this model

Now that two weeks have passed, I can say with certainty that it was among one of the best, albeit costliest, gadget purchases we’ve ever made.  Not only does it keep our floors looking good, it amuses the heck out of Declan and myself.  As it navigates the floors, I think it resembles a drunk stumbling its way through a crowded party as it bumps, turns, bumps, rumbles along, et cetera.  I can almost hear it muttering, "'Scuse me... pardon me... whoops..." as it makes its way from place to place.

Most users would probably only run the robot once or twice a day.  Declan, however, likes to push the button on it, so our “Rocket,” as Declan calls our yet-unnamed Roomba, get’s quite the workout.  But as our floors have really never looked better, I certainly don’t mind.

Now if we could just figure out what to call ours...

[what's cookin'] Family Movie Night means POPCORN FOR DINNER!

Leftovers, anyone? How about a beer?

When my eldest was younger, we often designated Friday evenings as “Family Movie Night.”  Now that Declan is getting older, I have brought back our movie-watching nights.  He is still a touch too young for it, not usually sitting through the entire film (though animated or “puppeted/Muppeted” features fare better), but it gives all a night to come together and have fun.  

Taylor, my eldest, is always invited, of course, but being a young woman with different priorities, she is absent from the festivities from time to time.  (I could write a whole post on how watching children become highly independent adults is both heartbreaking and wonderful.  I miss that kid like crazy, but she needs to have the freedom to make her own choices about how she spends her free time.  But I digress.)

Recently, I heard about the idea of Popcorn-for-Dinner.  I think that it’s a great idea for Family Movie Nights.  Everyone can forage for leftovers, or make their own quick meal.  I whip up a few batches of my famous (and addicting) popcorn.  And we all graze while snuggled on the couch watching a movie.  It’s pretty perfect, actually.  (And Declan WILL sit for a long period of time if the popcorn bowl is in his lap.  He is a fiend for popcorn.)

Here’s my recipe for amazingly good popcorn at home.  I do not usually measure the ingredients, choosing to season to taste, but these measurements are a good starting point.  Obviously feel free to adjust proportions to your tastes.  Enjoy!

Lily’s Omnom-popcorn

6 cups of prepared quality popcorn*

2-3 tablespoons of olive oil (I use an oil sprayer)

2-3 tablespoons of nutritional yeast (Bob’s Red Mill brand is widely available, not to be confused with brewer’s yeast)

1/2 teaspoon sea salt

Garlic powder, optional

*I use an old-fashioned, crank operated, stove-top oil popper.  I provides the tastiest popcorn I’ve ever enjoyed.  I pop mine with about two tablespoons of Earth Balance spread or high-quality butter.  If i’m feeling particularly fancy, I add a splash of truffle oil.

In a large bowl, toss popcorn with olive oil.  I use a sprayer and spray the top, toss the popcorn, spray the top, toss the popcorn, repeat until the popcorn has a light coating of oil.  Sprinkle nutritional yeast and toss until evenly distributed through the bowl.  Add salt and, if desired, a shake or two of garlic powder.  Eat immediately for best flavor.

Do you have any weekly/monthly family traditions?  

[in stitches] A Casual Shirt for My Fella

New shirt!

A few weeks ago it was so uncomfortably warm that the idea of cooking dinner brought on fears of combusting from the heat.  Our solution was to dine out at an air conditioned restaurant.  The second time that went out, I noticed my husband was wearing the same shirt as before.

"It's the only nice, comfortably shirt that I have," he explained.

He does have a few nicer-looking button-up shirts, but they're mostly polyester.  The shirt he was wearing was 100% linen, the perfect choice for a hot day.

In-progress

When we returned home after dinner, I began to look up possible shirt patterns for him.  I wanted a short-sleeve, button-front shirt with a collar, preferably with a yoke, too.  Vogue had exactly what I needed!

The next day, I headed to my local fabric store.  My husband wanted linen (which I can get inexpensively at LA's fabric district), but I thought I'd see what was available nearby.  I found two good 100% cotton options; a tiki print in blues and browns, and a red plaid.  I bought both.

The pattern recommended no obvious diagonals, so I purchased more of the tiki print than recommended.  Really the only issues were the yoke and collar, but the extra fabric allowed me to cut them on the cross grain to keep the pattern upright.

His "catalog" pose

The pattern and instructions were pretty straight-forward.  The project worked up quickly and easily. I was able to do everything by machine, too; including the buttons.

My husband loves the new shirt and claims it to be very comfortable.



While I've started the red plaid shirt, I haven't found time yet to finish it.  

[what's cookin'] I think I can?

I have had moderate success with refrigerator pickling.  But I’ve yet to really dive into full on canning.  My new favorite blog, though, has me wanting to give it a try.  I’ve got a few glass jars. I’ve got a few canning tools. I can boil water.  So, what’s holding me back?

Well, for starters, I’m not a big jam-eater.  I confess, I have a mild repulsion to hot fruit.  Okay, more accurately to hot berries.  Apples, pears, peaches are all perfectly fine for pies, but for the love of all that is pure and good--berries should never be heated.  They become a slimy ichor of yuck.  I shudder just thinking about it.  Granted, I am touch more forgiving of jams are they are usually enjoyed fresh from the ‘fridge, but our haus seems to be quite fine without stocking any spreadable fruit.

Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t can jams.  But I’ve yet to encounter any other canned food that leaves me salivating.  (Not that I’ve been looking too hard, mind you.)

So, do you can?  What are some of your favorite recipes?  Are any of the beginner-friendly?

[peaceful parenting] Mama Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Barney

Around the time that my daughter was born, a new children’s show was all the rage.  Rage being a key word here as it also produced a LOT of push-back from parents, adults, and older siblings annoyed by the cloyingly saccharine song so famously associated with the show.  

I was one of those parents.  The show and its predominate purple protagonist left me so piqued that I engaged in strategic channel changing and PBS viewing schedules just to avoid exposing her to the show.

My efforts paid off, she never was much of fan.  (She only later learned of the show’s existence when she started preschool.  But always preferred to watch other programs, much to my relief.)

Flash forward to today, and I find myself dealing with the purple menace in a much bigger way.  Declan has, completely on his own, discovered the show via Netflix and Hulu on our tablet computers.  (Oh, if only both of those programs allowed parents to individually filter out certain shows!)  

Here's the techno-savvy lad now

Through no prompting nor training on our part, Declan has learned how to open the tablet, start the appropriate application, switch the application to the kid’s catalog, browse the options, pick a show, and watch it.  He is also very adept at rewinding and replaying key parts, particularly theme songs and musical numbers, over and over again.

Obviously, I’m no fan of some of his choices in viewing material.  My language makes that plain.  So why have I chosen to not only allow him to continue to view these shows, but also defend and support his tastes?

Well, I feel that to do otherwise would be shame him for being himself and expressing his tastes.

As much as I may not be a fan of cavity-inducing children’s music, it does not hurt him at all.  Whereas if I turned the situation from supportive to adversarial, someone must win and someone must lose.  That sort of relationship can cause harm; definitely to our relationship, but also to his developing sense of self.  So, instead of instituting a ban of B-word in this house, I’ve chosen to find acceptance.

Some may find my support to be a bit on the extreme side.  After all, would censoring his exposure from a children’s TV show *really* be that bad?  Honestly, I think that it might.  I’ve decided that my role in his life is to be a partner to him, and that a huge part of my “job” is to be supportive of his interests.  If I start to dismiss his curiosity and interests at this stage, how can I show him that I truly am interested in helping him to explore his world later on?

I’ll admit that this is perhaps a departure from some folks’ views of more conventional parenting.  But I’ll wager that even those people can cite a time in their adolescence when their parents chose to be adversarial at a time when they could have really used support instead.  I know that I can recall a few.  I can even recall moments when I really should have been more supportive of my daughter.

How do you as a parent view your relationship with your children?

On a somewhat related note, Declan has also--on his own--found Family Guy.  In some respects, I think that is almost more annoying than the dentally-challenged T-Rex.  No, it IS more annoying.*

*Yeah, I’m not a fan.  Too formulaic, too sophomoric, not witty enough.

[in stitches] A New Dress for Daughter

Years ago I picked up a vintage reproduction pattern of a tabard-style dress.  The pattern, no longer in print, featured a quick-to-sew "Walk-Away-Dress" that had no sewn sides.  Instead it wrapped from front to back, and back to front to create the closures at the sides.  I made one for myself and liked the dress well enough, but there were a few issues.  Minor ones, that kept me from making any more dresses from the pattern.

While browsing through one of my favorite sewing blogs, I saw an older post about the Walk-Away-Dress.  In the post, an updated version of the dress pattern is featured.  Alas, THAT gorgeous pattern has not been reissued.  But a similar pattern from Vogue was reissued (and is, of this writing, still available).

But there was still something that kept me from making the dress.


Flash forward to a week or so ago.  I had finished a very sewing-intensive costume and wanted something fun to make. Plus, I was hoping to work on something that could try out some new skills.

I decided to make the Vogue dress, but not for me, for my daughter.  I also decided that I wanted to try my hand at pattern drafting by adding a peter-pan collar to the dress.  My daughter chose a darling cotton lawn fabric of blue with dots of white and green.  For the collar, we settled on a true red fabric.

As the pattern that I picked up ages ago was the wrong size for my girl, I did have to due some alterations.  I was excited to try out Nancy Zieman's Pivot and Slide technique.  The adjustments were so easy to make using the pivot methods and quickly produced a new, well-sized pattern.

I used my toile to underline the bodice, but decided against underlining the skirt.

The dress worked up quickly, though I did pause at one point to see if my local sewing machine shop had a specialty foot for attaching bias tape.  (They didn't, alas.)





















In putting together this dress, I did feel pretty good about my collar pattern and how that all came together.  It also proved to be another lesson on bias binding, but I've only concluded that I'd really rather just get a specialty foot and technology to the fiddly work for me.  And I think I may become a devotee of the pivot and slide technique.

I would like to make this pattern again--again with the collar, too.  I think that the collar really sets this dress apart.  Linen may be a nice choice, or another cotton lawn.  But if I did it for myself in the cotton, I would probably underline the skirt, too.

Do you like to try out new skills when you sew?  What sort of projects do you enjoy?

Haus: Dilemmas of the MiniTrad Owner

I cannot help it.  I've been thinking a LOT about paint.

Haus, Sweet Haus

When we were in the market for our new haus, I had very definite ideas about the exact sort of haus that I wanted.  It would be old (built before 1940) and it would have a lot of charm.  Instead, we bought a house built in 1948 and with the curb appeal of a plain box.  *sigh*

(Why did we buy it, then?  The neighborhood, mostly.  But the interior features several darling details and original elements that we just adored.)

Since buying the haus, I've learned a lot more about post-war architecture.  For a start, our home is transitional, but mostly Minimal Traditional in style.  Minimal Traditional, or MiniTrad, homes were pretty much exactly what it sounds like: usually single-story homes built with very minimal details, and traditional elements.  They were often small and square, wasting almost no space on hallways.  Effective, efficient, affordable housing for our returning soldiers and their families, basically.  Our home feels a touch more transitional, though, in that its footprint is longer than most, has a large kitchen and service porch, and has a very long hallway from front to back.

Most MiniTrad homes are rather plain building on the outside.  Ours, being almost all stucco, is double drab in that it's currently painted the color of sand.  And did you spy that uninspired white accent color on white trim?  Yeah, yawn....

If there is one good thing about having a home that was built in the late 40s, it's that color was starting to be all the rage in homes.  The color palette was moving away from the earthy tones that dominate the Arts and Crafts movement, choosing instead vibrant, almost painful colors.  Folks were using color to brighten their lives and to forget about the austere war years.  Yellow was very popular in interiors.  Bright blues, and even jade, started to appear on exteriors.  The homes were small enough, that such bright colors didn't look garish.

My efforts to find a suitably historic palette have not, alas, turned up a plethora of available paint.  But I did find out that Sherwin Williams does market and offer a Historic Collection.  Worse still, they have a wonky, but addicting color visualizer tool.  (Wonky in that all attempts to save images after "painted" have thus far failed, or produced buggy images.)

Still, can you imagine how much more fun my haus would look painted gold with avocado trim?  Or jade with bright blue door?

Alas, I think we will have to wait a bit.  While the wood trim is liable to need some touch-ups soon, our  financial priorities have limited our ability to purchase paint for the stucco.  Any ideas on how to brighten up our home with just a new color trim?

Gatsby Costume Event

Being a member of the Art Deco Society of Los Angeles has its perks.  One such perk is members exclusive events and we had one Sunday the 5th at a gallery in Culver City.  The event featured costumes, props, and sketches from the upcoming Luhrmann film, The Great Gatsby.

Now, before I voice my opinions about the event, I should provide a bit of background.  Among the LA area vintage community, there is a LOT of skepticism about this latest adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald groundbreaking novel.  From the casting, to the costumes, to the music... there is a great deal of room for achingly frustrating choices.

Having mentioned that, I have to say that I enjoyed--for the most part--what I saw at the event.  Historically accurate costumes?  Oh, heavens! no.  Not as such, though there were a few according to the sketches.  So why did I like what I saw?  Brace yourself for more extrapolation.

1920s?  Not so much

See, I understand that when telling a story visually there are concessions to be made.  On the page a writer can provide depth and insight that may be critical to understanding a particular character.  Yet when a story is told visually, other tricks must be employed to communicate hints toward personality.  Costume, hair, makeup are all areas that can help to evoke suggestions about character.  I recognize this.  I know that since its inception Hollywood has used costume to that end.  One of my favorite period costume designers, Adrian, built highly impractical and often fantastically costumes--even for "modern" stories and characters.  So to expect a major film to accurately represent the Jazz Age visually is setting one up for disappointment.

Spy that background!

What I saw at the event was spot-on in evoking character and personality.  I suspect readers who are familiar with Fitzgerald's work could have easily identified many of the novel's characters simply through the sketches of their clothes.  I certainly was able to do so.  (Alas, many of the sketches were not to be photographed, hence the lack of photo evidence here.)

Additionally, with a few exceptions the clothing paid homage to the silhouettes and styles of the 1920s. The average person would be able to immediately guess at the era from the clothes.  And lastly, all of the garments and sketches were gorgeous.  Catherine Martin is a wonderfully talented designer.

BATS!!

All that said, it may be telling that my favorite two items from the show were not Gatsby items.  The gallery used an authentic, antique Nouveau lounge built-in as a backdrop that was breathtaking.  In the same diorama was a reproduction chandelier.  Those two goodies took my breath away.  My photos do not do these items justice.  If you are in the LA area and are a fan of the era, do go and see them for yourself!

Despite my enjoyment of the costumes, please do not expect to see a glowing recommendation of the film.  I still suspect that I will love it (a rare possibility), or--most likely--I'll feel that it was a missed opportunity to tell a terrific story about an endlessly fascinating time and people.

Are you looking forward to Gatsby?

A few more photos:

Century Guild Gallery
6150 West Washington Boulevard
Culver City, CA 90232
Gallery may be by appointment only, check the site for details http://centuryguild.net